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The Influence of One
By Cheryl Dinnell
We have a little neighbor boy who is 5 years old. His name is Kyle. He met my older boys, Sean and Marc, while they were outside playing. Kyle really liked Marc because Marc was more willing to play with him than some of the older boys on the street.
But Kyle would not come over to play at our house when our youngest son Eric was around. Eric has a genetic condition called DeBarsy Syndrome. Kyle thought Eric was scary. Kyle said Eric had "evil eyes," and ran home in terror whenever Eric made a squeal. Kyle would ask me to put Eric in bed or in another room so he wouldn't have to be near him. I just told Kyle that Eric didn't have to go anywhere else because this was his home. I told Kyle that he didn't have to come over here to play if he didn't want to.
But Kyle still wanted to play with Marc.
One day last summer, Eric was outside playing with his brothers. Kyle wanted to join the game but didn't want to get close to Eric. Marc told Kyle that he couldn't play the game unless he could touch Eric on the hand. Marc took Eric by the hand and introduced him to Kyle. He then showed Kyle how Eric could give a "high five" and wave "hello". Kyle was nervous but he followed Marc's lead. He touched Eric really quick and ran off. Then he'd slowly come over again as Marc encouraged him to hold Eric's hand. Marc showed Kyle how he could help escort Eric around the front yard. Patiently and kindly, Marc worked with Kyle and stayed right by him until he was feeling pretty comfortable around Eric. Marc explained why Eric was different in easy-to-understand words. After a while, Kyle visibly relaxed and started to enjoy being with Eric and learning about him.
Later Kyle told me that Eric wasn't so scary after all. He showed me how he could give Eric "five." Before long, Kyle was coming over to see Eric and watch cartoons with him or play some game with him. At least he wasn't afraid of him any more.
When Eric started kindergarten, Kyle was in his class. Kyle was "used" to Eric by that time, so he was the one who showed all the other children how Eric could give them "five," too. He lead Eric around the room and helped Eric find some toys. Because Kyle was comfortable around Eric, he was instrumental in helping the other children feel comfortable, too. He would use the same simple explanations to describe why Eric was different. He helped Eric fit in with the other children, too.
The teachers commented on this special relationship between Kyle and Eric. Wasn't it amazing how that little boy would take such an interest in Eric?
I just smiled.